Zombie Madness

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MMM...MMM...GOOOOOOD (Michael Phelps, Mika, and Music)

Ok, so you all know I am random. Let me let you in on how perfectly random I am...

I heart Michael Phelps. So, naturally I was on You Tube looking up some recent videos of things he has been up to lately. Oprah. Saturday Night Live. Jimmy Kimmel. It is the latter I wish to discuss. While on Jimmy Kimmel, he did a short parody of a commercial for Grey's Anatomy. I would feature it on my blog, but due to it's smidgen of vulgarity, I will not post it. This is a family blog!! Haha. But, I know I teased you enough, so if you want to watch it, visit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5NlRmlsmZc

(It's really not that bad, but I didn't want anything offensive on my site)

Ok, so I heard the song in the background and loved it. I looked up the lyrics and found it was written my a Labenese pop singer named Mika (pronounced Meek-a). The song is called "Grace Kelly" and is featured in my blog if you would like to partake in the deliciousness that is Mika. While I was looking up his song on You Tube and then on i tunes, I stumbled upon a gem of a song that is the typical poppy kind of song that lasts a week until fans move onto the next Big Thing. Fickle people. I downloaded said song, written by Mika, and here is the music video of his song called "Lollipop". It is a strange mixture of bubblegum pop and quirky coolness. Don't hate.

Mika's picture again for your viewing pleasure...he looks like Josh Groban, no?

Ok, signing off. JB.

PS. Michael Phelps is on a box of Corn Flakes. I bought a box. I don't eat Corn Flakes. I just bought a superfluous box of Corn Flakes.

A Must Read If You Need to Laugh...

An actual phone conversation I had today while at work:

Me: Hello

(silence)

Me: Hello?

Confused Lady:Yes, hi. May I speak to Brandon please?

Me: I'm sorry, he's not in at the moment. May I take a message?

Confused Lady: Well, I am calling from the office of Obama...(slight pause) for president.

Me: Well, how many Obama's are out there, right? Haha.

Confused Lady: (Nervous laugh) Yes well...

I Need to Ask My Questions...

These things plague me on a daily basis.

Why would you make a product that is only 70% organic? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of it being free from all sorts of toxic additives?

Why do people rubberneck on the highway? If you aren't going to stop and help the poor people in the fender bender, atleast have the decency to move at a steady pace for the rest of us who need to be somewhere in a timely fashion.


If you are going to buy a book or movie, why would you ever buy it at Barnes and Noble where the pricing is ridiculously...well, pricey?


Why can't Christmas music be played all year round?


Why do we keep making plastic bags when they never biodegrade and emit gross toxins into the air?

Why do people clap at the end of a good movie in the theater? They can't hear you people...

Why do people insist on walking at a snail's pace in the mall, virtually blocking off all passersby?

What exactly is SPAM, Laura?

Why is my iced coffee at one Dunkin Donuts $2.01 while at another one down the road (literally 5 miles) is $2.32?

My Name is Jenny and I Love Halloween

Ok, I confess. Did you know that I love all things Halloween? I sometimes wonder what I would be like if I did not have Jesus in my life. Would I be into witch craft and all sorts of dark things only matched by the evil found in the movie The Craft?

Doubtful.

But I also confess that I have always been intrigued by Halloween, even as a little girl. Growing up as the daughter of an Army Chaplin, for all you non-miltary folk that's like a pastor, I always loved October 31st.

Was it the fact that we were allowed to wear costumes in school and every work related task had to do with the Day of the Dead? Words Searches. Halloween songs in music class (I loved the one about the old woman who found a skeleton in the closet). Stories about haunted houses and scary bats, vampires, and witches.

Maybe.

Or was it because I could pretend to be someone I wasn't, if just for the day? Angels. Princesses. Fairies. Witches. And as I got older, fun movie characters like Mary Catherine Gallagher from Superstar.

Perhaps.

Was it the fact that I was allowed to stay up past my bed time and then on top of that, stay up even later to eat some candy before bed?

Possibly.

Was it because there were all sorts of special shows on TV that featured scary goblins, witches, and ghosts. I loved Are You Afraid of the Dark? and movies like Hocus Pocus became my all time favorite as a child.

We're getting closer.

For whatever it's worth, though I know it's not much, I have enjoyed this October month above all others. I have a special place in my heart for the crisp night air and changing leaves that All Hallow's Eve brings to us.

But you want to know the secret behind why I love it so much?

Stories.

I love stories. Always have. In third grade, I remember my dad "caught" me in my room reading a biography about Betsy Ross.

Ok, I realize this officially nerd-ifies me, but I don't care. Who doesn't like a good story? Who doesn't love a happy ending? Or a conflict that brings two characters together? I dare say that most of you can be found on a Friday evening watching some sort of movie. And movies are no more than a good story with plot twists, action, adventure, someone who needs to be saved, or something that needs to be found. I love people, so it makes sense that I would love stories because all good stories are about people (hello, I was an Interpersonal Communications major). So back to why I love Halloween...I love the stories of Halloween. There is an added measure of creepiness and fright. There is something about a good mystery that I adore because there is usually some good explanation for something that at the start seems haunted, especially on the kid type shows. Nothing more than a man behind the Great Wizard of Oz Mask, for example. Add to that my love for Biology (mostly I am fascinated with the human body and how it works), so stories about rotting bodies and scary diseases make me excited. Again, I realize that you see me on a whole new level now...sorry.

I really think God places within us the love of stories. The whole Bible is made up of them. Real accounts of people. A real story of love (God loves his people), conflict (Jacob and Esau) compassion (Jesus dies for his love, the church), adventure (Jesus calms a storm...hello), excitment (Jonah is INSIDE a whale), mystery (what will Heaven really be like?), and so much more.

I am going to stop before I start to sound too cliche, or worse, like a typical Christian (shuddering at the thought). It's just no wonder why we love stories. The world is full of them. Don't you just get a little excited when someone says, "Have I got a story for you", or "Oh, funny story...", or "that reminds me of the time when..."? It's true and you know it!

Anyways. I submit for your approval, the Hocus Pocus clip from above and these awesome clips from the new Harry Potter and Twilight films. They are wickedly awesome. Enjoy.

Funny Quote from the Nephew

My sister and her family came into town for the Michael Phelps parade this weekend. Tori also stopped in, so we had an amazingly fun weekend. It just so happens that Tori and I were down at my sister's house last weekend to go to Busch Gardens, so it has been two weeks of visiting with her and her family.


Well, on Sunday, my sister and her family (husband Michael and all four kids- Liam, Nathan, Eliza, and Jacob) came with me to my church. We went to pick up Nathan in the nursery and I walked past a friend I know from my weekly small group, so I stopped to say "hi". A few seconds later I hear my sister laughing hysterically. After saying goodbye to my friend, I asked my sister why she was laughing. Apparently, my oldest nephew Jacob, upon seeing that I stopped to talk to someone says to her "Oh, good!! Aunt Jenny has other friends besides Tori".


Yes nephew, it's true. I do have more than one friend.

Walmart: The Twilight Zone

So, I am at Walmart today and had quite an experience. I have promised many that going for groceries is always an adventure with me...maybe now you will believe me.

First things first. Evelyn got upset with me because we were in the cereal aisle and it's her new favorite food and word. She began asking for cereal and I politely said "no" and then offered her the snack I packed for her.

She threw it on the ground. Strike one for Jenny.

She begins screaming for cereal and I mean screaming for cereal.

I got so many looks from people, like me, who stare at the mother who can't control their child while out in public. So, I became that "mother" I have always hated and gave her her pacifier so I could shop in peace. This was after attempting to explain in a rational way why she could not have the cereal (didn't work, ps.).

Then after a bit, I needed to pee. Sorry, I mean "relieve myself". We head to the bathrooms in the back and I enter into a strange situation. A man, a Walmart employee, is standing there looking at himself in the mirror from all angels. At first, I am thinking that he is supposed to be in the woman's bathroom cleaning. Then I realized that I never really looked at the signs, so I could very easily have walked into the wrong bathroom. After asking aloud, "Am I in the wrong bathroom?", I got no response from the rather large man preening himself in the mirror (is that what you guys do in there??). I exit and find to my chagrin that yes, in fact, I had stumbled into the wrong bathroom.

Strike Two.


I continue shopping, making it a point to avoid the Man in the Mirror, when an employee walks up next to me and says, "I'm getting ready to have one of those". Thinking she means the Fiber One bars I am holding, I was gearing up to say something about how much I loved them when I turn and see her pointing at Evelyn.

I'm sorry, did you just call my little friend "one of those"????

I tuck the witty retort I was about to throw her way into my back pocket and sweetly asked her when she was due and if it was her first.

"Yah. It's my first and my BF's fourth."

"Score. Looks like you found yourself a keeper!!"

(Am I still on the Eastern Shore people??)

I was getting ready to check out. I see a light on at a register and there is no cashier. I hesitate, thinking I should keep walking, but prehaps there is a cashier, she's just run off to the commode or something. In my brief moment of hesitation, I hear a voice calling from two aisle's over, "I'll be right there!". I glance over to see a fake blonde peering over the candy and tabloid display. She is obviously stocking the shelves. I reply with, "Ok". Meanwhile, I am busy loading the conveyer belt with my fun grocery finds. I really am not minding that Cashier Girl is taking her time because I have my hands full.

A short gentleman (I do mean short, he was shorter than myself and I am 5 feet, 6 inches tall) in a nice suit, scurries into the line and without pause says, "Well, where is she? The cashier?".

Here is the conversation that soon follows, I wish I could tell you that I am making this up. Believe me:

By the way, Suitman was speaking loud enough for Cashier Girl to overhear (at a decibal slightly over a dull roar):

Me: "Well, she's over there" pointing to where she is
Suitman: "Well, doesn't she know she has customers?"
Me: "Yes. She says she's coming."
Suitman: "She's not coming fast enough" looks at his watch
Me: "Yes. She is--"

But what she is, Suitman will never know because he cuts me off with his next line.

Suitman: "I suppose stocking the shelves is more important than checking out customers."
Me: "Yes."
Suitman:"Does she not care?"
Me: "I don't--"
Suitman:"Her manager will probably care." begins drumming his finger on the conveyer belt
Me: "I think so."

Cashier girl, running up to the register: "Sorry, I had to stock the shelves. I am sorry."

As she is ringing up my purchases, here's what happens:

-She continues to say "I'm sorry"-no lie-about 10 more times
-She accidentally throws my very expensive soy hot dogs at me, they land on my feet ("Sorry, since they were frozen they just slipped out of my hand.")
-And then to cap off my experience...she sneezes no less than three times directly onto my groceries (makes me throw up in my mouth when I think about it)


Strike three.

I happen to not be in a big hurry, so this whole ordeal was slightly more humorous to me than say... if I had to pee, was starving, had already been waiting in line for an hour, Evelyn was currently screaming, or I was just in a bad mood. Apparently, it bothered Suitman. I can understand why...he's in a suit, so he must behave like a complete buttwipe. By the way, he was purchasing socks and coffee creamer.

Opps, did I say too much?

I mean, clearly this girl needs to take a few courses in Customer Relations or Walmart Checkout 101. Customers come first in retail. Always. So, I can totally understand Suitman's beef with Cashier Girl's lack of respect, but that doesn't give you a right to be rude either.

So, that's my experience in a nutshell. No, this is me in a nutshell. How 'bout them apples??






Answers to the Death Cab or Dork Quiz: 1) Death Cab 2) Dork 3) Death Cab 4) Dork, 5) could be a toss-up, it was thrown in to trick you, but I think I tricked myself...but, I will go with Death Cab.